Chu!
by Unknown Personality
Summary: He had promised to never touch me. Why did he betray me? AU Faster Than A Kiss Parody


_~Chu!~  
~_~Unknown Personality~_~_

_*bell sounds*_

Mikuru Asahina walked determinedly home. She had to get there before Koizumi-sensei did and change into today's cosplay outfit. Her friend, dread, was creeping through her veins and weighting her down. She sighed mentally. Lately, Koizumi-sensei's cosplay outfits had been getting more … how should she put it? Mischievous? Ha, that was the understatement of the year.

She opened the door. Kyon's sister jumped on her with glee. Why she was living with Koizumi-sensei and herself was beyond her. She was _Kyon's_ sister and in no way related to her. At least the cat didn't come along as baggage.

She pried the little human being off her and took off her shoes and slipped into her house slippers. She noticed the plain, innocent looking package sitting on the kotatsu. Doomsday had arrived.

* * *

"I'm home." Itsuki called unlocking the door. The door swung open to a beautiful sight. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all. Now, let's just keep it one "beholder", shall we? Itsuki Koizumi wasn't one of the most generous people on earth and no way was he letting anyone else see his wife dressed the way she was right now.

She seemed to be sparkling and there were little glittery circles floating in the air. Hm, I wonder where they came from. Never mind. They just enhance the image, so let's ignore them shall we? She was Nurse Mikuru today (Oh, on first name basis with your nurse are we?) and Doctor insert name of Kyon's sister.

As per usual, as much as he wanted to stare at his wife like a total pervert, he goes to Kyon's sister and coos over her, seemingly ignoring the seething Mikuru over there in the corner. "Oh, you look so adorable!" he squealed. (DANGER: FANBOY). She squealed and thus began Squealing Contest No. 67.

Mikuru continued to simmer in silence as she changed out of the extra tight nurse outfit. She had undone a few buttons and was about to begin on the third when a hand stopped her. She turned around and came face to face with Itsuki whose face was mere inches away. Her heart throbbed (doki doki) as she looked at him. He had his serious face on. She wondered if he was going to kiss her (finally!) and if he was, what should she do first? Close her eyes? But then what if he wasn't going to kiss her? She would be so embarrassed!

His eyes glanced over her half open shirt and back up to meet her gaze with a smirk. "Who would have thought that-" he began arrogantly when she punched him, humiliated. She bent her head, letting her hair cover her flaming face and held the top of the outfit together with her hands and ran to their bedroom and slammed the door shut and fell on the bed and wept.

* * *

He rubbed his face. It was all red where she'd punched him. What had she punched his beautiful face in for? He was going to pay her a compliment! He pouted in the direction of the bedroom (as if she could his face!). He continued rubbing his face and let his gaze rove over the room before it came to a stop on Kyon's sister who was staring at him disapprovingly.

"Apologise to Buncha!" she cried sternly. He sighed and offered her an apologetic smile before walking over to the bedroom and sliding the door open. He shut the door behind him, plunging the room into darkness. He waited for awhile letting his eyes adjust. He could make out her form sprawled across the futons. She was still sobbing.

He crouched beside her and tapped her shoulder. She shrugged him off. He tapped her shoulder again and she shrugged it off, slightly more violently this time. He continued and she responded likewise until she finally got irritated and pushed herself into an upright position and turned and glared at him, now sitting cross legged.

"What do you want?" she snapped. She didn't seem to care or perhaps she had forgotten that her shirt was still unbuttoned. He wondered if it was worth the risk telling her that. His survival instincts were screaming at him not to and he decided to listen to them (for once.)

"I'm sorry." He said simply. She stared at him, caught off guard. "Sorry?" she repeated. "Yes, I'm sorry for commenting on your state of undress." He said formally. She stared at him, scrunching her face up in concentration. Why was he face so expressionless? It made it so hard to figure out if he was joking or not.

She titled her way this way and that while he watched her with the blank smile on his face. Boy, was that getting irritating! She squinted her eyes at him. He held back a laugh, her expression was so comical. "Okay." She leaned back, giving in but still a little suspicious. "I accept your apologies." His smile widened, and he seemed to be going to make a comment that humiliate her some more.

"Stop. I'm not done yet." She held up her hand. "You are not to look at me when I'm naked, semi-naked whatever percentage of nakedness, you're not allowed to look at me. You are not to make obscene comments. You are to respect my privacy. You are not to do embarrassing things to me like give me love bites on a school fieldtrip and have everyone do a Spanish inquisition on me. You are not to make fun of Kyon and you are not to pull random jealous stunts. Do I make myself clear?" she demanded, hands on her hips.

He looked like he was going to burst out laughing any second now but he held it in and calmly said. "Yes, ma'am!" and saluted. She smiled at that. He looked so adorable! "And thank you sensei." She said. "For everything you've done for me. I know I'm a bother and I can't imagine why you still keep me around but thank you all the same." She knelt and placed her head on the floor, on the knuckles of her hands, showing submittance.

He looked surprised and shy at this sudden display. He placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her up so that they were face-to-face. "I'm doing this because I want to." He said. "Now, change out of that and let's go eat dinner, okay?" She smiled shyly. This was the side of sensei that she was in love with. The caring side. They both stood up and he left the room.

* * *

The next day in class, she couldn't stop herself from smiling at him randomly whenever their gaze caught. Kyon must have noticed because he never left her side once during lunch and he kept chattering about anything and everything and steered her clear of Koizumi-sensei.

She needed to let him go thought. Everyone knew Haruhi was in love with him and that she was very possessive of him. So halfway through, she pushed him towards her and watched as he protested when Haruhi dragged him determined away from her while she waved _sayonara_.

A breeze blew and she knew without looking that it was Koizumi-sensei. His arms slipped around her and hugged her to him as he kissed her neck affectionately. "Do you want to go home early?" he whispered in her ear. She shivered, she would have loved that. Kyon's sister was at the daycare with Nagato. "You shouldn't be skipping school, you're the teacher!" she reprimanded. "You're supposed to set a good example for your students." She said jokingly swatting him on his arm.

He laughed, a gentle sound. "It was worth a try, Mrs Mikuru Koizumi."

_*bell sounds*_

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_The End_

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End file.
